Lions claim angelic interference
The Lions' run of successful dinners came to an abrupt end last night when they failed to devour Daniel, a Jewish troublemaker.
"I don't know what went wrong," a spokesman said. "The lads had been training hard all week - toning up their jaw muscles and sharpening their teeth - but on the night the openings just didn't come. All they could manage were a few mumbled growls between sealed lips."
The Lion captain claimed that the event should be replayed as there was clear outside interference. "We were all ready for the off," he said, "fully expecting to rip the opposition to shreds within the first few seconds as usual, but some strange angelic force held our mouths closed. I don't know much about this Daniel character, but he obviously has some highly influential friend, a mysterious Mr. Big."
The Lions were unanimous in their condemnation of this interference. "It's not just losing," they said, "It's what it's done to our pride."